The Queens Fear
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: You're afraid. She wanted to tell him no, she wasn't afraid of letting him lead. It was a natural part of dancing to let the man lead. She had seen her father lead her mother on that movie thousands of times. Leading wasn't the issue. But there was an issue and it bothered Katey that Javier had seen it. Warnings: Will contain mentions of sexual violations!
1. Torn

**Title** : The Queens Fear

 **Pairing** : Katey x Javier.

 **Warnings** :Will contain mentions of sexual violations!

 **Word Count** : 1, 665

 **Chapter one** : Torn

* * *

 _You're afraid_. Javier's words wouldn't leave her alone no matter how hard she tried to distract herself. _You're afraid_. She wanted to tell him no, she wasn't afraid of letting him lead. She truly wasn't afraid of that. It was a natural part of dancing to let the man lead. She had seen her father lead her mother on that movie thousands of times. She had been lead across the dancefloor by her father. Leading wasn't the issue. But there was an issue and it bothered Katey that Javier had seen it.

Katey never told anyone about James. Or what happened in the car. Javier knew. But that wasn't because she had told him voluntarily. She had been distraught by what had happened and he had just been there. Her dad worked for his dad. She told herself what he had done didn't matter. He hadn't really done much. James had tried to kiss her, he had done something against her will but other than that he hadn't done anything. Katey told herself that over and over again. Out loud and quietly to herself but the feelings of shame didn't disappear nor the feeling of being uncomfortable in her own skin, her own body and the desire to not let anyone touch her.

No one knew what James had done and no one saw how it affected her. She did what she could to stay out of social gatherings and put much effort into covering herself up. She indulged in the worlds provided to her by books and put all her energy into dancing with Javier. But no one noticed. Just like they didn't notice how she changed the first time it happened.

Maybe she had been naïve, stupid even. But when Charles told her that he thought she was a sweet girl that he wanted to spend more time with Katey believed that meant seeing each other for ice-cream and maybe going to the cinema. They had done those things first and Katey was on cloud nine when Charles turned on her. It was like watching day turn into night. That was how big the difference was.

In a way, it was almost ironic when Katey found herself in the same situation a few years later. James hands were different but they too touched her body in a way that made her arch in disgust, kissed her violently and held her against her will.

The first time Katey had become frozen with fear. Her mind was screaming at her to act but she didn't. She let him touch her. He only stopped when someone woke her from her frozen state by knocking on the window.

The second time she acted quickly. She wasn't going to rely on fortune. On someone hopefully saving her.

 _You're afraid_. Yes, yes, she was. Katey was terrified of being in a position where someone would touch her again. She knew Javier would never do anything she didn't want him to but that didn't stop her from covering away from him. Katey had believed the same thing about James and Charles. And she had been proven wrong.

Katey walked down the streets of Havana with a smile on her face. If someone would have told her that Cuba would feel like home in just a few weeks' time she would have laughed at their faces. But it did. Katey loved Havana. The real Havana. She loved walking down the streets while watching people dance and sing. Even though she didn't understand what they were singing. Havana gave her a feeling of calm and content that Katey had never experienced before. Before moving to Cuba, she always felt there was something waiting for her in the future. She just needed to work hard enough and eventually she would get her happy ending. Cuba, Havana and more importantly Javier had taught her that life was happening right now. It was crazy to work for a happy ending when you could experience happiness every day in every moment that came your way.

It was hard not being able to talk to her mother about this. Katey had tried so many times to vaguely ask her mother for advice but the conversation had gone in the completely wrong direction and her mother had believed she was somehow hinting that she was thinking about sex with James. That was so far from the truth it wasn't funny. She couldn't talk to Suzy and that left only her father and he managed to surprise her.

He had been watching the film again when she walked in.

"Hey." He greeted her with a smile that soon vanished. "You look like you have something on your mind. Do you want to talk about something?"

Katey hesitated but forced herself to sit down on the couch. "I need to talk to someone about dancing."

"You've come to the right person." Her father focused his attention on her. "Step into my office."

Katey smiled though she didn't want to.

"How do you learn to trust someone?" she asked cautiously choosing her words so they wouldn't sound suspicious. "I mean, you can't dance with someone unless you fully trust them. How do you learn how to do that?"

"I've never been in that situation, Katey. I've always trusted your mother and she's always trusted me." Her father paused when he saw the look of discouragement on his daughter's face. "But if the trust hadn't been there then I would have made an effort to create it."

"How?"

"By letting her in and telling her my deepest secret." Her father sighed. "Dancing is in a way like falling in love. You put your trust in that person and you let them lead you even though you sometimes have no idea what the other person is thinking. I believe that by letting someone see you entirely, all your fears and hopes, you will succeed in creating trust."

Katey had thanked her father. She had even asked what his biggest secret was but to that he had simple laughed. With those words in mind she walked down the familiar streets of Havana. She heard its comfortable sounds and allowed them for a minute to make her forget what she was about to do. Then she reached his gate and she was reminded. She met his mother on the way in who told Katey she would let Javier know she was there. Her heart was beating in her chest to the point where she could hardly hear anything else. She was struggling to get any real breaths into her lungs even more so when he showed up by the door. Katey fidgeted with her hands as he approached her and all of the sudden her mouth became dry when she realized what she would have to say to him.

Javier, with his black messy hair, golden-brown skin and dark eyes leaned his body against the gate and looked at her through the barriers of the metal with a small smile on his face.

"Okay, I am." She admitted.

"You're what?"

Katey tilted her head and said the word she had grown to hate so much. "Afraid."

Javier opened the gate. "See, that wasn't so hard?"

"Actually, it was." She laughed dryly and forced herself to take a step towards him. "Because there's a reason for it and I've never told anyone before. But I need to tell you this. Can we talk in your room?"

Javier nodded. Feeling the tension in the room and led the way through the house. Katey heard him say a few words in Spanish to his mother but as per usual didn't understand what he was telling her. She walked into his room feeling like she was in some kind of haze and sat down on one side of the couch. Javier sat down on the opposite side.

She had seen him wear that expression before. Whenever he thought too much about the situation his family was stuck in and the things he had to do. It was a worried expression. One that Katey never thought she'd see him wearing with her.

Javier leaned forward and took her hand. "You can tell me."

Katey didn't realize that she had been holding her breath until that moment. When Javier took her hand, and said those four words it felt as if the weight of the world left her shoulders and the words came flowing from her mouth. She just told him. She told him about the feelings that had gone through her body when the first man had touched her, done things to her that she didn't want him to. She told him how she had frozen up and how she had taken shower after shower in attempts to _get him off_.

He sat completely still for a while after she had stopped talking. Not until he was sure that she wasn't going to continue did he open his mouth.

"Why did you tell me this?"

Katey felt her cheeks go red. What if he didn't want to know. She tried pulling her hand away from him but his grip around it tightened just a tad until Javier realized what he did and released her.

He looked down on the ground. "I'm sorry."

He rubbed his hands against each other. His eyes were forcefully directed to the floor and every once in a while, he would tap his feet against the floor. _This was not how it was supposed to go_.

"I told you…" Javier looked up. "I told you because I'm not afraid of you." Javier pulled the same doubting face he had when she first came with the proposition that they enter the competition but just as then she ignored it. "I'm not… I promise that I'm not afraid of you but I _am_ afraid and I don't want to be anymore."

Javier smiled. _That smile_. It always made her heart soar. "That's okay. I'll help you fix that."


	2. Don't You Worry

**Title** : The Queens Fear

 **Word Count** : 1, 038

 **Chapter two** : Don't You Worry

* * *

Patience. That's what it took. Patience and time. And Javier, _naturally_.

The young man with the brown idealistic eyes had caught her heart even before she had the courage to tell him about her fear. Her feelings for him had scared her already then and now they were almost impossible to handle. Her body reminded her of them when he wasn't with her by randomly putting the image of them dancing in her head. She knew their dance so well by then that she could almost feel his touch on her skin. And occasionally she had to look at herself to make her brain understand that he wasn't there.

It would be wrong to say that she couldn't live without him because she could. It just so happened that she didn't want to.

It wouldn't be true to say that she needed Javier to win the battles that life handed her. Katey had the ability to overcome anything that life threw at her without him. But she didn't need to and she didn't have to.

He had helped her. And Katey was grateful that she hadn't been forced to deal with it on her own. Even if she could have. The fact that he believed in her made things so much easier. And he was the reason that he was walking down the streets alone on her way to La Rosa Negra about to just dance. Katey couldn't tell when the thought first appeared in her mind. But all of the sudden she was struck with the realization that she wanted to dance like the women at La Rosa Negra. She wanted to move the way they did, with the same emotions and the same confidence. So, she told Javier.

" _You look deep in thought." The sound of his voice made Katey look away from the sight of the sun setting in the distance. She turned around and involuntarily the smile on her face grew when Javier walked towards her. "What are you thinking about?"_

 _He sat down next to her. Not far enough so that she'd feel like he was trying to put distance between them but not close enough for her to feel uncomfortable. The gesture made Katey smile. Javier was something out of the ordinary. She wished desperately that every guy on the planet was like him because the world needed more guys like him. But at the same time Katey couldn't help feeling happy that there was only one and that she was fortunate enough to know him._

" _I'm thinking about dancing." Katey replied without missing a beat. "I want to be able to dance the way those women do at La Rosa Negra."_

 _Javier crinkled his nose and laughed. "How do they dance?"_

" _They dance as if they have no worries in the world even if they probably do. They feel comfortable enough in their bodies to go from partner to partner without hesitating for even a moment. There's a certain strength in their moves and it has nothing to do with training but with confidence."_

 _Javier nodded. "What makes you think you can't do that?"_

 _Katey shrugged. "Do you think I can?"_

 _Javier nodded again. "I know you can."_

Her heart was fluttering inside her chest as she stepped into the club. She didn't have to look for long before she found Javier in the middle of the dancefloor, obviously feeling that he had been forced to wait too long. His eyes were half-closed and occasionally he stuck his tongue out of his mouth and smiled happily at the woman standing in front of him. She didn't wait for him to see her as she would have just a few weeks earlier. Instead Katey moved across the room until she found herself in the middle of the dancefloor. She saw the lingering looks of men she didn't know and felt that familiar tension travel up her back.

"American," a familiar voice greeted her and Katey couldn't hold the sigh back as Carlos appeared by her side. "Do you want to dance with me?"

Katey nodded and took his hand. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest as he pulled her a little bit closer. Not as close as Javier would but close never the less. His eyes never left her and as they danced Katey became less aware of the hands that occasionally brushed against her body. The heat of other bodies was forgotten as she focused on the music and allowed it to travel through her body. She didn't notice that Carlos was gone until someone had already taken his place. And she definitely didn't notice when Javier left the dancefloor and stood next to his brother watching her just move.

"She's beautiful." His brother spoke as he took a mouthful of his beer.

Javier couldn't disagree. Katey was beautiful. She always was even if she didn't know it. But whenever she walked out on the dancefloor there was a certain spark that took over her eyes. Up until that point Javier had never seen the spark bloom into a full-blown firework. But it had been worth the waiting.

The music ended. Katey stopped and he saw her look around until her eyes found him and she stood still with a soft smile playing on her face. Javier couldn't help smile back, especially not as she waved her hand, gesturing for him to get over there. He was quick to obey. After all, he would never turn down dancing.

 _Dancing is about being exactly who you want to be in that moment_. That's what Javier had told her that day at the beach. To some people that meant being free and to others it meant being rebellious. To Katey that meat losing control and it meant being courageous. Javier had always known that she was courageous and though he didn't know why he always knew that she needed to lose control.

He was happy he could help with that. He was happy that he could help the queen face her fear. And when they were separated Katey realized he probably never understood how much that meant to her. She could only hope that maybe one day she could tell him.

 **The end**


End file.
